baronessbess

Christmas, Beach, Fire

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:50:51 GMT

Change of plans for this weekend~ Going to the beach for the weekend to help my sister finish a big family Christmas project and Christmas shop. Yes, I have a sister, she lives near the beach house Sean and I frequent.

There is nothing like Christmas shopping at the beach! Few people and lots of deals at the Ocean City Outlets. Christmas shopping at the beach used to be a tradition of mine, we've been so occupied with Blackspear and SCA stuff for the past 6 years that I have not participated in one of my most favorite Christmas 'events'. It is good to reclaim my life and do the stuff I love.

Fire here last night was awesome! I think I like fire better in the winter. Buying a firepit for the beach house this weekend. Somehow I think fire at the beach will be fabulous! Yes, we've already checked with the local fire dept.

I am feeling much better. Just have two scars and a lot of perspective and attitude change. One of the boys said "They cut the bitter out of you" :::shaking my head::: I will admit I have not been reacting to life quite the way I did before November.....

I love my hair short. LOVE IT.

Slowly recovering

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:49:30 GMT

Slow. This recovery thing is slow. Surgical pain coupled with a raging ear infection in both ears. I must have been a war criminal in a past life.

Thursday afternoon

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:10:41 GMT

Scheduled appointment with surgeon for next Tuesday. Probably have the procedure the following week. Docs want to remove both things not just needle biopsy them.

Back is degenerative arthritis and low back is curved...scoliosis. So I am not crazy, my back hurts. MRI at some point. I'm not real pressed for the back MRI, there is not much anyone can do about an arthritic back that curves funny. I'll get it done, just not right away. Must deal with the other pressing stuff first.

Therapy fire tonight.

and the docs panic...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:35:56 GMT

Doctors like to panic. Yesterday was not the first time that the doctor at a radiology facility has called in every frikkin student in the building to see my tests.. My guess is that they don't think how that audience of new medical people impacts the patient. Especially when things are not going by the book.

So the doctor shows me the ugliness on the mammogram then the subsequent sonogram. The students look at me with all the dramatic faces they can muster, they have obviously not attended the "how to fake it when things don't look right" class. All of the medical hystrionics is why I don't go to the doctor. The response I got from the doctors and their silly students is a big reason why I don't go.

Today I get to go to my primary care doctor. He is a good doctor but every time he has referred me to someone it has been a nightmare. So, now we will move on to surgeons and biopsies. They will all tell me it will be OK even if it is not. They will all tell me I am strong, which I am not.

I have been here before with one of the ugly things on my breast. It has been biopsied twice and is a fibroadenoma. Not cancer. The new ugliness is a little scary. BUT---it will all be OK because I am strong.

This is 50

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:01:35 GMT

Doctors and tests... Arthritis in my back, they want me to totally change how and what I eat and of course, lose bunches of weight... Lots of crazy pills for the back issues. I'm not sure I really want to be in a total fog...

Somehow I'd still rather be 50 than 25